Why Couples Who Workout Together Stay Together

We all know that exercising can strengthen your muscles, but why not strengthen your relationship while you're at it? A growing body of evidence suggests that couples who sweat together really do develop a better bond. I like to refer to it as "bonding through shared suffering". In other words, when you struggle through a challenge with someone and come out the other side together, you feel closer and more connected. This is why, as coaches, we like to fit as many people as possible in a single class, in order to develop a sense of camaraderie with those working out alongside you. What many people don't realize though is that this phenomenon has added benefits, specifically for couples.

First of all, if you are an extremely active person, you know very well how demotivating and detrimental a lazy partner can be. It's always beneficial if both partners have a shared passion and sense of purpose in life. This was one of the things that instantly drew me toward Mark when we first met. We were both lovers of CrossFit, and we both placed a priority on the building and maintenance of our physical skills. Couples who share an enthusiasm for fitness are more likely to encourage and support one another in their health goals, making it easier to stay on track. Physical activities can also be a great way to get outside and be adventurous, adding novelty to the relationship (all key building blocks to a lasting bond).

Mark and I push each other to improve every time we workout. Our time spent in the gym becomes "us" time where we can reconnect both on an intellectual and physical level. We celebrate each other's accomplishments and personal records, we keep each other accountable, we get to serve as each other's coach, and we always have a guaranteed spotter! Both partners come away from the workout with a feeling of cooperation and overall synchronicity, which gets even better when you throw in some spicy endorphins!

Which leads me to one of the most obvious benefits of working out with your spouse: better sex! A survey in 2013 found that couples who go running together actually have more sex. Couples who workout together are more confident in their appearance, they have more energy, and lets not forget that shared post-workout shower! When you both have a positive body image, your sex life ultimately benefits. This is because sex between people who work out isn't only more physical and sensual, it's more intensely visual. You leave the lights on, you touch more, you're more adventurous. Not only is intimacy improved, but it remains that way for years! When your partner perpetually turns you on, it's just one more component of a good, satisfying relationship.

I have found in the past that if one partner works out and the other doesn't, guilt and/or resentment invariably ensues. But if you both work out, you end up working as a team both in and out of the gym. The idea that one of you is a weak little daffodil that needs to stay out of the way while "men get things done" goes out the window. Women who work out are imminently functional; they are as capable as men when it comes to doing physical labor. When there is a couch to be moved or a truck that needs unloading, most guys will sit around and wait until their buddies (or a reluctant neighbor or two) get home so that they can ask for help. This is not the case with a spouse that works out! Why pay a couple of beefy college kids to help you, when they'll only track dirt all over your house in the process. You've got a spouse who can out squat, out bench, and out lift your cheesy neighbors! Bottom line: couples who workout together get shit DONE.

Throwing heavy weight around in the gym also has a therapeutic effect, resulting in fewer arguments between couples who know how to get their frustrations out in this healthy manner. Instead of treating each other rudely, you take it out on the weights, until you're once again feeling calm and collected. In the evenings it's a great way to decompress after a stressful day at work. There's no letting things build up inside until you ultimately explode. Mark and I hardly ever fight, and I firmly believe that a large part of this can be attributed to our "iron therapy" and the resulting endorphin rush.

If you think about it, your spouse is the perfect workout partner! They're that person who believes in you the most and wants to see you succeed in all areas of your life! There's a reason that couples who sweat together have earned the title of "SWOLEmates!"

 Do you workout with your spouse? Need help getting your spouse motivated? Join the conversation on the Squats & Tots Facebook page